Families with Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

The assessment

Obtaining one through the NHS can be a slow process whilst the private route can be a costly one.  Weighing up these factors and deciding what to do, can be really hard and I would be happy to discuss this with you as I have knowledge of both the NHS and private assessment processes.

The diagnosis

You may experience a range of feelings about having a child diagnosed with ASC/ADHD.  On the one hand it provides an explanation for why your child has been finding some of the demands of everyday activities, like brushing teeth, getting ready to go out, making friends or simply playing with their siblings, so difficult. On the other, it might trigger a sense of guilt that you didn’t recognise that your child was struggling with neurodivergence earlier and that had you done so, you might have been able to modify your behaviour in how you responded to their difficulties.  Feeling guilty is really understandable but it may be more helpful to hold onto the fact that you are reading this because you are a loving and caring parent who wants the best for your child - and no child could want more than that from their parent.

Managing the behaviour

A diagnosis does not mean that you have to accept some of the really difficult behaviour that can come with ASC or ADHD.  As the parent you still need to put in boundaries around behaviours and activities that you are not happy with because they might be damaging to you, your child, their siblings or people outside the family.  You also don’t want your child to think that these behaviours are acceptable. This can be really hard to manage as you don’t want to be insensitive, but you also don’t want to allow certain privileges to your child on account of their diagnosis.  These are fairly common dilemmas for parents and something that you can work on in therapy either as a parent/s or as a family.

Your family

How your child experiences the diagnosis will be influenced by how it is talked about in the family.  Parents frequently have different ideas about their child having a label of this kind and one parent may want to play it down whilst the other may view it as helping them to understand their child better.  If this kind of difference has arisen in the family you will know how difficult it can be and how it might be upsetting for your child. 

Your child

Receiving a diagnosis can be incredibly helpful for your child.  It may help them understand why they have encountered difficulties that don’t seem to affect others, such as heightened anxiety; sensory sensitivities; procrastination; organisational difficulties; emotional dysregulation; meltdowns and misunderstanding some of the nuances of day to day communication and expression.

My support

I am experienced in supporting families to manage these additional difficulties, in terms of helping them develop different ways of doing things but also in navigating the interface with school and college.  The pressures of school and college can be even more stressful for young people with this condition and can make their whole educational experience a less than positive one.